I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
