You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
