just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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