i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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