Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
