careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
