Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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