so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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