let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
