If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
