I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
