But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
