she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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