Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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