I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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