Is it because I queefed?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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