why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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