dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You work out of a Hotel?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
