Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
