so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
is wine microwaveable?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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