smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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