as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
