she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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