she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
