Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize