We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
