she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
