Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
