none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So much Jack, so little girl.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
