Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
