So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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