Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
