You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
