We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
