Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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