Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
