Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
