You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
