FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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