So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
