He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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