I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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