I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
