Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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