Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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