no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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