Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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