Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
