butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize