you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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