It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
