A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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