sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize