I love black thongs
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize