I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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