so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
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Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
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It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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