Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
